03 November 2009

[Content Warning] My Death

Sorry: the formatting has been bloody lost when I added the Content Warning - on several posts, and I don't have the time to fix them all so I won't fix any. 

I … I cannot believe it has come to this, that I should die - and in such a manner. We were ALL scared here - all of us! and he, hah! He'd looked like a mouse a rabbit. Finally a morsel I could indeed in reality, not bravado, take. Eight months ago, in a pub with all the lads, that bravado had been all cocky and sure , we'd answer the call, and show the Hun a thing or two - not that we knew much ourselves. Six months ago with our training underway, we didn't know whether to worry at the hard and serious or disdain at the ridiculous - now, now we see it was all hard and serious. Ah the wisdom of hindsight, and oh! that as much of it as need be, could be foresight going back through a miracle - of God other, I care not what, and telling me to listen to my Boer scarred Pa, and sad, worried Ma. They hadn't seen this for me they'd seen … a wife - I'd not even asked a simple kiss, as yet, - and now, ne'er would they'd seen … a job, a home, a life … and now, through fault of none but I, I'd never had that not a bit. It hurt it raged and pained and gave my limbs a sad, futile desperation. But 'twas too late. I'd seen that mouse inside his hole and, thinking I a cat, had leapt, only to find my more than equal in measure. Maybe he'd been more scared than I, maybe … he'd had these thoughts that I was having in my last fraction of life, two seconds ago, and that panicked imminent loss had given him strength and speed - and courage, oh aye, such courage in this fine young noble tiger as I was using now, too late, as he pulled -no, squeezed, his aimed rifle at my heart, four feet away, too far to reach, I had not time to even wonder at an afterlife, though I feared it would be- - oh God! Ma, Pa! It hurts! It burn- © Kayleen White, November, 2009 I undertake these writings – and the sharing of them – for the sake of my self expression. I am under no particular illusions as to their literary merit, and ask only that any readers do not have any undue expectations. If you consider me wrong, then publish me – with full credit, of course :)